“Hey Pete, I’ve had a bad day and I could use a big hug.”
“C’mon hon, we’ve got to hurry or we’ll be late. What are you doing? Are you dawdling again? Let’s go let’s go let’s go!”
We are what, a couple hundred or so mass shootings into the year? Maybe more. I haven’t seen the news this morning as I write my column, so we could have added a few overnight. I do know we’re winning the mass shooting contest with our allies by oh, a couple hundred.
Ed. note: Pete Mitchell’s “In America” normally appears every other Monday in the Times. However, because we are producing a combined Saturday-Monday Memorial Day edition, this column appears today.
“Hey Pete, I let that guy go like you asked and … ”
Hey Pete, um, I gotta tell ya, it took a bit for my food to come out the other day. I didn’t want to say anything, but I figured since you always say you want to know, that I’d tell you.”
“What’s the weather like down there? Is it warm? It’s freezing up here today. Can you believe it’s late April and it’s snowing?”
I started tending bar at Slattery’s Old Seneca Ale Haus way back in 1979, when Geneva was, oh, let’s just say a bit more frayed around the edges. It was gritty and dirty and a whole lot of run down in places, but man, was it a hopping town, with bars lining the streets, and people packing th…
“Hey Font, think there’s too much salt in the sauce? And the marinade on the steak is awesome.”
“It’s 10 p.m., do you know where your children are?”
“Hey, Pete, let’s go out tonight, and if you don’t mind, I’d like it to be a ‘date night,’ if that’s OK.”
I’m going to start out by saying thank you to all of the folks that took the time to send me their responses concerning my last “In America” column. In case you missed it, I asked what specifically was it about that guy, meaning Trump, that had people so polarized here in America. Legions of…
I walked into the restaurant on Valentine’s Day with my better half, Anne, and her sister, Linda, to discover that the bartender, Jhon, had sprinkled rose petals at our place settings at the bar. Days earlier I’d asked if it was even possible to come into his establishment on that day, given…
As some of you may know, when life gets on my nerves (which happens from time to time), I go chat with a guy about whatever it is that bugs me, and I’ve been doing this for 30-some-odd years now.
“I’ll have a Coors light bottle. Oh, and if you have any frosted glasses left I’ll take one.”
“Hey Pete, would you mind sliding down a few spots so that I can seat these folks together at the bar?”
“Hey Pete, this year seems like it’s never going to end. I can’t believe it’s not even the end of December yet.”
“Hey hon, how’d you sleep last night?”
“Hey Pete, I read your last piece and it wasn’t too bad. Did you ever think about doing an article on (fill in the blank)?”
Should I just grab a turkey breast? It seems a shame to cook a whole bird just for the two of us.”
I have no idea why I’m writing this particular column. There is no anniversary or birthday at this time; I just think maybe I saw something that triggered a memory. But there you go, that’s how this all works, doesn’t it?
“You know, I’m sick of this fascist cesspool! I have a right to smoke without being hassled! I quit! I’m gone! See ya later!”
“Pete, I almost told that guy to drop dead and get lost when he said he wasn’t going to wear a mask. Boy, he made me mad!”
“I just heard a noise! I think there’s something in the closet!”
I’m not a sports talk radio kind of guy. Oh, I’ll watch the game, and I’ll root for the Bills and all that, but I really have no interest in tuning in to hear what a bunch of folks think about the players and their stats and what the point spread is on the next game and yada yada yada.
(Editor’s Note: Pete Mitchell’s “In America” column usually runs every other Monday. But because there is no Monday paper next week, we are running it early today).
When I have employee meetings, I usually start by relating a compliment I’ve received about the food or service from a customer while I was out and about. It’s a nice way to put folks at ease, and I’ve found that it helps to remind them that while I do think there are areas that need work, t…
People often ask me where I come up with the ideas for my columns. To be honest, most times things just pop into my head (which would explain a lot. Lol!) Sometimes, though, I get ideas from the news (how did this idiot get elected) or from observations of daily life (I find vegetarians that…
If you’ve been paying attention to the news, the Democrats have been up in arms over the restrictive voting measures Republican-led states have instituted, or are trying to institute, all across the land. The GOP rationale is that they need to do something about securing the integrity of the…
To those of you looking for my column this week, I’ve got some bad news.
“Hey Pete, isn’t that smell delightful? The Lilly of the Valley are finally in bloom. Isn’t that just the most wonderful fragrance? Too bad they’re so short-lived.”
“Deer processing 400 ft, turn next left.”
(Editor’s Note: Pete Mitchell’s “In America” column usually runs every other Monday on our Opinion Page, but because there is no Monday edition over the Memorial Day weekend, we are running it today.)
“Don’t forget to drink lots of fluids beforehand. Gatorade works best. You know, all those electrolytes?”
I am a big fan of police procedural novels, and one of my favorite authors of that genre is Michael Connelly. If you’ve never read any of his work I’d suggest you give him a try. The people he brings to life are realistic and relatable, full of flaws and faults and whatever else goes along i…
A while back I wrote an article headlined “Nobody tells me what to do!” and I proceeded to point out all the things we are all told to do from the time we’re born until the time we die.
“Can I help you?”
A college dorm room, somewhere in America, October, 2017 ...
“Pete, it’s close, don’t you think?”
“Hey Pete, what’s the name of that place where we had that great pasta dish? You know, it’s like, uh, I think it’s a on the east side of ... ”
“Here you go Pete, happy birthday!”
“Hi folks, how are you today? I’m going to tell you about some of the great lunch specials we’ve got coming out of the kitchen, but first how about I start you off with a drink while you look over the menu?”
“This is so weird, there’s like no one on the road going north with us. And look at the line of cars being stopped going south into Florida, it must be miles long. And are those department of health teams mixed in with the state police?”
I have an OCD streak in me a mile wide. Well, that’s my opinion of me at least.
“Pete, the floor staff insisted I take tips. I didn’t want them, but they were adamant.”
Sometimes you have to weigh the cost of your decisions. Sometimes you have to understand that holding fast to your beliefs can be expensive.
With the race for the White House in the rearview mirror, I was going to start my post election article by saying how wonderful it is that things have finally settled down so we can all get back to normal.
“Hey Pete, the internet’s down, and we can’t run credit cards. I called and they sent over a tech. He went through our entire system ... said there’s nothing wrong on our end, there’s a problem on their end.”
I’ve told my friends before that politics is a form of war, and while the Republicans have understood this axiom for decades, the Democrats still think we’re playing scrabble.
Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night while you’re on vacation, but forgotten you’re on vacation at that sleepy hour, and walked into a wall because your body automatically starts to walk to the bathroom as if you were home?